Kamis, 28 April 2016

SAW AND RINGO


Vain Glory

One day. Twin brothers was born. The names are Ringo and Samael. But Samael is called Saw. Ringo has a handsome face, good body and good intelegent. And Saw is ugly, and his’s skinn is green and yellow. When they're was a child. Their Father teach them how to fight and gave them a weapon to protect their self. Ringo has a big different with Saw. Saw is very lazy and when they are fight one by one Ringo always got the big score than Saw. And The Father is very proud to Ringo. And then, Saw is angry and left from home.

Saw left and he want to find the new place and he found the big forest . Life in the wild spirit makes Saw more stronger than before. He is very strong but Ringo still has a more power than Saw. Someday, Saw found the new place, little village. The village have a lot of strong fighter. When Saw came into the village, he must fight with the other fighter. And then. Saw versus 23 fighter but Saw is the winner.  After that, Saw is become a king on that village. That village is the enemy of his’s father’s village.

And someday Saw’s army told him that the enemy village want to steal their big diamond called Vain. But Saw is did not know who’s the enemy. And Saw told the army to prepare for the battle. And then, the battle began. Saw is getting ridiculous. He kills the enemy like a dragon. And the big fight is waiting for him. Saw broke the defend of the enemy and he almost won the war. Saw is used a mask because his’s ugly face so the enemy can’t see his face. And Ringo and his’s father joined the war. And Saw must killed them to win the war. Saw knows Ringo and his’s father but Ringo and his’s Father did not know if he is Saw. And Ringo attack Saw and the father is help RIngo to killed Saw. And Saw’s First army is came and help Saw. The name of the army is Phinn. Phinn attack Ringo and Ringo is almost dead. Saw’s father is can’t do anything and just hiding behind the big rock. Saw is almost dead to after Ringo is attack him and he won’t to attack back. Phinn is come to Ringo and want to kill Ringo. When Phinn swinging sword to the Ringo, Saw is ran and blocked Phinn and Saw are punctured by Phinn. Phinn is very surprised and very fear. Because Phinn killed his’s King. Ringo and the father  is surprised to. The Father out from the hideaway. Saw off the mask and Ringo and His’s Father is very surprised. Saw protect Ringo who’s want to killed him. Ringo tears and speechless. Because Ringo’s almost killed his’s older Brother who’s didn’t attack Ringo and Protect Ringo. Finally Saw is dead. Ringo is very sad and Ringo and the Father hug Saw.

War was ended. There is no win or lose. There is a peace. And Saw Rest in peace. 2 villages become a family. They are built the new world and Saw’s tomb in the middle of the 2 villages.

2 komentar:

  1. If you had put some dialogue lines here, the story would have been more lively, I guess ;-)
    Read more books to get inspired, both by their contents and the language style and structures used...

    BalasHapus
  2. An interesting war story, i can only say that you should pay attention to your grammar and the tenses. So it will be more understand-able to the readers.

    BalasHapus